Sunday, February 1, 2015

I've found myself wanting for words

This is the beginning I choose.

There will never be another February 1st of 2015 again, after today.  I shall have to make the best of it. 
Recently, I have had some doubts about writing, whether or not I should really try to write.  I mean, words are so limited and it's hard to tell a tale really well, or even figure out a story to tell.  I asked myself why I was writing and was considering giving it up, but no.  Storytelling is in my blood, though I don't know how it got there.  I do feel as though God made me this way for a reason, that I should write down this one story, all of it, even if it feels wrong right now.  And I wrote a poem too.

I need to tell a story
Even if it’s only one
I want to tell it better
Than any other tongue.

It’s aching to bleed
It wants to be told
I have to be bold
I have to tell a story.

I need to tell that story
But I just can’t see it.
I need to untangle these threads
And weave it, sew it.

I need to tell the story
But I don’t know who it’s for
Strange faces left and right
I hope it’s not a bore

I need to tell this story
Even if I don’t know how.
Just stumble then
Till you learn how to bow

Yes, I know I'm procrastinating on the story.  I've recently found myself wanting for words to tell it.  There are countless ways I could tell it, and I can only tell it one way at a time, and not a hundred ways, for then nothing would make sense with all the events mixed up.  But I'll go to it and work now.
In November I wrote quite a lot of unexpected poetry.  Every day I seem to get some sort of revelation, small or big.


  1. Wonderful poem. :) I've suffered those self-doubts too... but if God gives someone a talent, he wants them to use it for his glory. Even if it's messy and doesn't make sense, if you write to glorify God, you will bring him joy. And I think, to some extent, if we do anything for God, we automatically do it well (or, to the best of our ability), because we want to please God.

    1. Thank you! Yes. It will be messy at first, like a good first draft ought to be. I do know that there are many well-meaning stories that could have been told better but God uses them anyway to draw people to him somehow. (: